


one step forward, two steps back

by akanemnida



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Social Media, Tinder, the boys are a disaster but at least they're cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-01-23 15:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21322507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanemnida/pseuds/akanemnida
Summary: Fed up with the fact that he's been harboring a crush on Hwang Minhyun for the past three years and counting -- his best friend who, most certainly, does not like him back -- Kang Dongho decides that it's finally time to try and get over him. So he downloads Tinder.Except:(It's a match!You and Minhyun have liked each other!)
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Kang Dongho | Baekho
Comments: 149
Kudos: 279





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> I realized I still love Baekmin.  
And that I'm still crazy enough to attempt multichaps... Fortunately for all of us, 80% of this story is already drafted out. For the most part. :)
> 
> For now, enjoy~

**황민현** · @optimushwang

maybe one day ill figure out how to confess but for now im enjoying the fact hes an idiot lol

5:14PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호 **· @realbaekho

@optimushwang ??????? still the same guy or?

5:16PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho yea lol tf it’s been forever and irdk what to do but! it seems like he hasn’t noticed so w/e

5:17PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호 **· @realbaekho

@optimushwang oh

5:18PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

It comes to Dongho like an epiphany one afternoon -- while scrolling through his Instagram feed in Minhyun’s dorm room, while his head was on Minhyun’s lap, while Minhyun’s fingers were stroking his hair -- that the only way to get over his stupid crush on his best friend – his best friend who has been in love with_ the same person, whoever the fuck he is_, for three years -- is to actually _meet other people_.

There was no way he was ever moving on from this crush if he spent too much of his free time basking in the comfort of being in Minhyun’s lap (platonically). He sits up abruptly, causing Minhyun to shoot him a slightly bewildered look.

“So the person you like,” Dongho starts. Minhyun cuts him off.

“Look, you know I hate this topic—”

“Are you even friends?”

“I… guess so?”

“How did you meet?”

“I—I can’t remember,” Minhyun says, blinking rapidly. “And even if I remembered, why do you care? Why are you even asking me these questions?”

“It’s just that you’ve liked this person for a really long time! Which means he’s probably an awesome person! So maybe if I try copying whatever you did, maybe I’d find some new friends too, or something…” Dongho trails off, scratching his head sheepishly. “Sorry, it was kind of stupid.”

Minhyun’s nervous stance gives way to a small smile. “You’re right, he’s a good person… I don’t think you, of all people, would find anyone like him though.”

Dongho tilts his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Minhyun bursts into full-on guffaws.

* * *

**백호 **· @realbaekho

maybe if @optimushwang stops being so cryptic about his mystery man

7:23PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho then what

7:41PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호 **· @realbaekho

@optimushwang then i’d know who he is

7:46PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho :p

7:47PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

_Minki-yah_

_Do you think Tinder would help me get over Minhyun_

**백호 **· 8:01PM

_why do you want to get over him_

_have you told him that you liked him_

_after 100 years_

_wait did he reject u lol????_

**렌 **· 8:01PM

_No_

_I’m just thinking in advance_

_I’m trying to meet people_

_So I can stop breaking my own heart by liking someone who doesn’t like me back_

**백호 **· 8:03PM

_tinder is not gonna help you_

_dumbass_

_why don’t you just tell him how you feel_

**렌 **· 8:03PM

_Because he likes someone else Minki-yah_

_It’s not worth it_

_Besides you found Jonghyun there_

_Can’t be all that bad_

**백호 **· 8:11PM

_Look_

_Tinder is a shitty place_

_Filled with people like you_

_**렌 **· 8:11PM_

_whats that supposed to mean_

**백호 **· 8:12PM

_i don’t think it’s fair for you to be moving on_

_when you haven’t even tried to get closure_

_you might end up hurting people that way_

**렌 **· 8:15PM

_I’ll be careful_

_I promise_

**백호 **· 8:31PM

* * *

Step one in getting over Hwang Minhyun:  
_Find new friends._

He never, ever thought that he’d reactivate his Tinder account, but there he was, downloading it from the App store, because he remembered that his _other _best friend Minki found his boyfriend Jonghyun on that app. Maybe he’d be successful too. Maybe he’d find a boyfriend. Maybe he’d find a new best friend. Maybe not, but at least he wanted to _try_.

All he really wanted to do is to try and see a world beyond Hwang Minhyun, and if it was going to take the world’s lamest dating app for him to do so – because apparently, his own willpower isn’t enough to get him to say no to all the times Minhyun would ask him out on friendly dates, hangouts in his apartment, study sessions in the library – then he was willing to give it a shot.

* * *

**백호 **· @realbaekho

here goes nothing

8:33PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**렌** · @glorypath

@realbaekho shit

8:34PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**렌** · @glorypath

@realbaekho i told you not to!!!!!!!

8:34PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**렌** · @glorypath

@realbaekho you’re a fucking dumbass!!!!!!!!!

8:35PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@glorypath @realbaekho yo whats going on?

8:51PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

The setup is quick, his settings from his past short-lived life on Tinder still retained. The checkbox for his preferences (both men and women), the age range he was interested in (no one below 20, and no one above 27), the specific radius in which the app would do its magic. His age, his cheesy biography that says that he was a university student and that he was “23, likes music, long drives, and going to different bakeries” (Minhyun and Minki had laughed at that biography three years ago, because it was so ridiculously cliché, but at least he didn’t _lie_.) He cringes when he sees his old profile picture but doesn’t bother to take it down. He takes a haphazard selfie and uploads it on the app, along with another Instagram-worthy picture of him against a glowing sunset.

(Minhyun had taken that shot.)

Satisfied, he confirms his settings.

A picture of a scantily-clad girl welcomes him in the home screen. _Hyejoo, 25, looking for fun ;)_

He immediately, almost aggressively, swipes left.

* * *

The thing with the Tinder app is that, well, it’s filled with _so many people_. And everyone on the app was different. Girls, boys, students from his university, the barista from the café he frequents for his iced americanos. Swiping left and right made him realize that his ideal type wasn’t just _whatever characteristic Hwang Minhyun had. _Though everyone seemed beautiful, he realized he actually had certain _preferences_ – girls with long hair seemed to appeal to him more, and for men, it seemed like his interest was more piqued whenever they’d say in their biography that they were around six feet tall.

Step two in getting over Hwang Minhyun:  
_Try to see attractive qualities in non-Minhyun human beings._

He’s stunned when he sees the photo of an extremely pretty girl, and swipes right before he was able to fully digest the text that said ‘_Jieqiong, 21, I like dancing and I love my cats :)_’

_‘Sujin, 24’ _gets an instant swipe left, because even if she was freaking cute (not just because she looked exactly like Minhyun) _what the hell was Minhyun’s sister doing on Tinder_?

_‘Bumjoo, 26’ _gets a swipe right because even if the pictures made him look short, he had several headshots of him in a music studio. Dongho had always been interested in music production.

Swipe left. Right. Left. Left. It was almost like an addictive game to him, and at some point it felt like he was just playing _Temple Run_ with the speed and the number of swipes he’d been doing. Left. Seokmin has a Tinder account? Left. Left. Cute. Right. Left. Left. Right. _It’s a match! _Dongho ignores the notification and swipes some more. It’s brainless at this point. A message, _Oppa, hi! _He swipes instead of replying. Another message: _oh shit, I forgot to set it to girls only! _Left.

He sees a picture that grinds his mindless swiping to a halt: it’s Minhyun in a long brown coat, standing in front of the autumn-lined streets of Seoul. Minhyun’s hair is dyed a light brown in this picture, so it must have been taken three years ago. He remembers this picture so clearly because he was the one took it.

_Minhyun, 23  
Just looking around :)_

Dongho blinks once, twice. What the hell was Minhyun’s profile doing here?

More importantly: what the hell was he supposed to do with this?

He thinks about swiping left and forgetting that he ever saw that profile. That was the point, right? To forget about Minhyun. To look at the other fish in the sea, to see what the rest of the world had to offer, to have a bit of fun without his crush on his best friend weighing down on him.

But there was the part of him that hated liars, hated lying. As trivial as it was, swiping left on Minhyun’s profile would be a big fat _lie_, because, well, he was interested in _Minhyun, 23, Just looking around :)_. Heck, his finger even itched to swipe up for a super like, but maybe that would be overkill.

And the profile picture is an old one, so he’s probably inactive, right?

And most importantly: Minhyun didn’t like him back anyway… so he literally had nothing to lose, right?

This, he’s sure of: if he swipes right, nothing will happen.

Because Minhyun wouldn’t have swiped for him, because the sky is blue, because Minhyun has liked the same mystery man for the past three years.

_Maybe the lack of a match can serve as my cold, hard, rejection._

It will be okay.

There are other fish in the sea.

Step three in getting over Hwang Minhyun:  
_To get it over with and get rejected, for fuck’s sake._

Dongho swipes right.

* * *

_It’s a Match!_

_You and Minhyun have liked each other!_

_You can now send him a message using your phone._

* * *

**백호** · @realbaekho

wait what the fuck

10:25PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

Step four in getting over Hwang Minhyun:  
_why the fuck did we match on tinder what the fuck just happened shit does he know maybe it’s not that serious but what if it is but like this does not make sense nothing makes sense_

* * *

_Baekhobekobaekhobaekhobaekobekodongodonodongoho_

_My best friend in the entire world _

_Who does not get enough sleep_

_Yoyoyoyoyo_

_Go sleep now!!!!!_

_Oh youre not replying_

_GOOD_

_good night!!!!!_

_<3_

**황민현** · 11:13PM

* * *

**백호** · @realbaekho

i hope your phone notifs are broken

01:21AM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호** · @realbaekho

wish I can turn my brain off for 5 seconds so I can finally fucking fall asleep PLEASE

03:25AM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

Step five in getting over Hwang Minhyun:  
_Just give up._


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not that deep, hyung."
> 
> (But Dongho wants it to be.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bet you didn't expect an update after two days. me neither. same. :p

_ren_

_minki_

_mango_

**황민현** · 8:52PM

_what_

**렌 **· 8:54PM

_what were you and dongho talking about on tl_

_im getting nervous_

**황민현** · 8:55PM

_i hate both of you_

**렌 **· 8:56PM

_Did you tell him_

**황민현** · 8:56PM

_Now why do you think _

_I would put you out of your misery_

_Just like that_

**렌 **· 8:57PM

_…_

**황민현** · 9:00PM

_Anyway_

_To answer your question_

_It might come as a shock to you but_

_The world does not revolve around your big head _

_And if you wait any longer_

_Dongho might find another big head to revolve around <3 <3 <3_

**렌 **· 9:01PM

* * *

You matched with Minhyun on 10/29/2019

**Today · 8:05 AM**

Test

Test

Test

???

* * *

“Minhyun-ah, did you see my messages?” Dongho asks, once Minhyun steps into the passenger seat of his car. This was their routine: every single day, Dongho would pick him up from his apartment, and he would drive them to school together. He tries to mask his nerves behind the sunniest smile he can muster at 9 in the morning. _Hey Minhyun, so I downloaded a dating app last night and I kind of hugely implied that I was interested in you by swiping right, which might count as a confession, but don’t worry, I can pretend that it was just a joke, haha, it’s funny, right?_

Minhyun pouts as he buckles his seatbelt. “You’re the one who wasn’t replying to me last night.”

“Oh—sorry about that, I was, uh, asleep—”

“Don’t lie to me, you were tweeting late at night, you insomniac,” Minhyun whines. “But to answer your question, no, I haven’t?”

“Really?” Dongho looks at him incredulously. “No notifications or whatever?”

“I haven’t received anything… Did you send it through kkt or through Twitter? Instagram? I just got this new phone last week—”

“Okay, rich kid.”

Minhyun ignores him. “—and I haven’t downloaded anything yet else aside from those three apps. Was it important?”

Dongho resists the urge to breathe a sigh of relief. Minhyun didn’t have Tinder on his new phone, which means Minhyun didn’t know that he – that they –

“I—No, they were just cat videos,” Dongho lies. “I think I sent it through Facebook. It’s not important, don’t worry…”

“You’re sure? I can download Messenger—”

“It’s okay,” Dongho says. The last thing he needed was for Minhyun to figure out that there were no cat videos in his Messenger inbox. “It’s not important, I’ll just message you on Twitter from now on.”

The important thing: Minhyun still had no idea. Dongho was safe.

“Still, I’m sorry that I made you feel like I was ignoring you…” Minhyun rests his palm lightly on Dongho’s hand on the gear shift, and thumbs lightly at the back of his hand before letting go.

Since when was classic Minhyun-esque skinship so intense?

Minhyun crosses his arms in front of his chest. “It’s getting cold, huh?”

Dongho catches Minhyun’s gaze, then looks away just as quickly to try his hardest to keep his focus on the road.

Though Minhyun still had no idea, Dongho’s heart was so, so, so, so far from safe.

* * *

_dk_

**백호 **· 11:13AM

_Dongho-hyung!_

_What’s up_

**dkdk** · 11:45AM

_I_ _ saw you on tinder lol_

**백호**· 11:52AM

_Oh???_

_Hehe_

_Did you swipe right?_

_:)_

_My profile pic is pretty cool huh_

_You better have swiped right!!!!!_

_I deserve your swipe!!!_

**dkdk** · 12:15PM

_???_

_Aren’t you supposed to swipe only for_

_Yknow_

_People you’re interested in_

_In the _

_Romantic sense????_

**백호**· 12:17PM

_No???_

_I swipe for everyone I know haha_

_Kind of like a “lol I see what youre doing” kind of thing_

_And I make fun of them when they match me :p_

**dkdk** · 12:19PM

_Whaaat_

_I swiped left for you _

_Sorry _

**백호**· 12:19PM 

_Why are you sorry?!?! _

_It’s not that important hahaha you’re funny hyung_

_sometimes I chat with Jihoon-hyung there instead of kkt_

_Cause it’s funny_

_It’s just an app_

_It’s not that deep hyung_

**dkdk** · 12:31PM

_So when I match with someone I know personally_

_50% chance it’s just a joke?_

**백호**· 12:40PM 

_Probably 75% hyung tbh_

_Why??? Did you match with a pretty girl? _

_Is it Nayoung-noona!?!?!?_

**dkdk** · 12:42PM

_:/_

_Thanks Seokmin-ah!!_

_Have a good lunchtime!_

**백호**· 12:53PM 

_LOL_

_See you around!!!_

**dkdk** · 12:54PM

* * *

Dongho lets out a sigh as he puts down his phone. Seokmin had a point – he was so tormented by this entire matching situation when Tinder definitely fell into the _it’s not that deep _category. Minhyun could have swiped for a multitude of reasons: he was bored and wanted to chat, it was an accident and muscle memory failed him, his app glitched and crashed when it saw his profile and it registered as a swipe right on the system. There were too many mundane possibilities that he could draw from the simple fact that Minhyun swiped first.

The problem is that he _wants _it to be that deep.

Which is why out of the one hundred possible silly reasons Minhyun could have had to swipe right for him first, Dongho wants to cling on to that singular hope that maybe, just maybe, Minhyun liked him too.

* * *

**황민현** · @optimushwang

This morning I realized he really does have the prettiest eyes in the world :(

4:11PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호 **· @realbaekho

@optimushwang who?

4:23PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho :(

4:24PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호 **· @realbaekho

@optimushwang do i know him?

4:25PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho haha yea

4:25PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호 **· @realbaekho

@optimushwang can I punch him for making you sad cause he doesn’t like you back

4:26PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho LOL tbh that’s the last thing I want you to do

4:30PM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

As Dongho looks at his face in the bathroom mirror that night, he thinks to himself, _hey, my eyes are pretty nice_

_._

He laughs at himself for that stray thought.

He rinses his face and watches both water and his optimism flow down the drain.

* * *

_Hwangminhyun_

_Remember when minki told us to download tinder so we made accounts_

_Did you ever swipe right for anyone_

**백호**· 11:15PM

_Hwangminhyun????_

_Are you asleep???_

_Zzzzzzzz you’re such a grandpa_

_Good night_

**백호**· 11:42PM

_Slr I was asleep!!_

_I just woke up to pee then I looked at my phone to check the time_

_Then I saw your message_

_That’s so random?_

**황민현**· 4:35AM

_Tbh I used that app for like_

_10 minutes_

_Three years ago_

_I swiped right for five people!!! Cute people_

_And then I saw the profile of the guy I like?? You know_

_Same guy_

_I swiped right for him and we didn’t match_

_Hahahahahaha… _

_how nostalgic_

_I think that was the sign I should have gotten over him three years ago_

_Lol_

_..._

_I’m going back to sleep_

_Good night(?) Kangdongho~_

**황민현**· 5:06AM


	3. 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dongho knows that three years’ worth of liking the same person is not some easy thing to overthrow. Dongho respects that. 
> 
> (But what if it was him?)

_백호_ _ and _ _렌_ _ retweeted_

**☆ ****Motivational Quotes**** ☆** · @InspiringQuotes123 · 18h

RT if you have your phone on dark mode  
LIKE if you have your phone on light mode  
I’m just trying to see something here!

* * *

렌 · @glorypath

Lrt who the fuck uses light mode in this economy?

6:15AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

백호 · @realbaekho

@glorypath lmao I know @optimushwang does and it’s annoying and bright esp at nighttime when he’s browsing during bedtime ksksksksks

7:23AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

렌 · @glorypath

@realbaekho @optimushwang I’m not even going to ask why you’re around each other during bedtime

7:27AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

황민현 · @optimushwang

@glorypath @realbaekho would it kill you guys to untag

7:28AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

_Zhou Jieqiong, dkdk, and 15 others liked_

임나영☆ · @nayoung_lim95

When we end up matching on tinder that does not mean I want to see your dick picks I’M TIRED OF WAKING UP TO DICK PICKS

7:05AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

kjh · @pockyjr

@nayoung_lim95 just delete that app it’s nothing but trouble. men aint shit

8:12AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

임나영☆ · @nayoung_lim95

@pockyjr men ain’t shit, and yet you’re gay

8:13AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

kjh · @pockyjr

@nayoung_lim95 proof you can’t control your sexuality, but you /can/ control which dating apps you have on your phone

8:15AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

황민현 · @optimushwang

@nayoung_lim95 @pockyjr i can’t believe he’s tweeting this shit out when he found @glorypath on tinder……

8:16AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

_HYUNG!!!!!!!_

_Was it you?!?!_

_The person who sent Nayoung-noona those dick pics?!?!_

**dkdk** · 8:11AM

_lee seokmin_

_you better pray I don’t see you around campus today_

_or ever_

_I hate you so much_

_for even THINKING that thought_

**백호** · 8:21AM

_Ok so it wasn’t you! _

_I’m sorry for being a piece of shit hyung!_

**dkdk** · 8:23AM

_ok forgiven_

**백호** · 8:23AM

_Hehe_

_Hows the tinder thing going_

_Why are you even on tinder aren’t you dating Minhyun-hyung?_

**dkdk** · 8:24AM

_?????_

**백호** · 8:24AM

_Did you break up?_

**dkdk** · 8:25AM

_????????????????_

**백호** · 8:25AM

_Ok I guess it’s a tough time for you right now_

_So??? How did it go?_

**dkdk** · 8:26AM

_some guy promised to teach me how to use this new music production software_

_aside from that_

_fuck tinder_

_wait I have to go im picking minhyun up in a few minutes see ya_

**백호** · 8:27AM

_IM SO CONFUSED HYUNG I THOUGHT YOU BROKE UP_

**dkdk** · 8:31AM

* * *

Dongho twirls the phone absentmindedly in his hands, still not knowing how to process Minhyun’s last few messages: that Minhyun swiped right for six people, and that one of those six people was the man that Minhyun had been head-over-heels in love with for the past three years. A one-in-six chance that his Tinder match with Minhyun actually means what he wants it to mean, and a six-in six chance that Minhyun thought he was cute — which was nice to know, and on any other day would make him giddy.

Still, though, there exists the five-in-six chance that Minhyun was just playing around. The five-in-six chance that, _hyung, it’s not that deep_.

At the end of it all, he didn’t want Minhyun to just think he was cute.

He wants to be completely transparent and tell Minhyun that he’s been in love with him for the past four years.

He wants to take this, whatever this is that he has with his best friend, all the long hours together and the casual skinship and all the rides to and from school — and to take it to some theoretical next-level wherein he’d have the right to hold Hwang Minhyun’s hands and kiss him (and maybe—but no, _slow down_, Kang Dongho) and tell him he’s pretty every day of the week. Hugs and handholds and kisses were things he knew he could _attempt _because Minhyun would let him, and he’d be able to satiate his curiosity unscathed, but he wants to be able to do these things _regularly_. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to kiss Minhyun on the mouth just once.

More than that, though: he wants to be able to do them again and again without the fear of hurting himself.

Because if he were just one of the five, and he gives in to his urge to confess, not much will change the fact that Minhyun is currently in love with someone else. Minhyun would probably give him the time of day, humor him and give him a chance, but ultimately Dongho knows that three years’ worth of liking the same person is not some easy thing to overthrow. Dongho respects that. Minhyun and his heart deserve that type of respect, and Dongho respects himself enough to not to live with that kind of masochism.

Which was why he was trying to move on in the first place, for fuck’s sake.

He barely allows himself to consider the alternative: that he was Minhyun’s final swipe.

_I mean, if that were me, wouldn’t he have told me already? _

_Why does he keep talking to me about the guy he liked, if it were actually me? What kind of a dumbass—_

_Can it be me? Is it me? Is that why everyone thinks we’re dating? Does Minhyun actually—_

Dongho shuts off his brain, grabs his car keys, and walks to his car. He hopes that the drive would do good things for his heart.

* * *

This thing (This habit? Schedule? Unpaid side gig as an Uber driver?) of picking Minhyun up from his apartment started years ago, back when they were classmates in their general education classes. Maybe Statistics I wasn’t the ideal place to make friends, but they were both seated at the very back of the classroom, which allowed them to spend so much time commiserating with each other on how difficult the course is instead of actually listening to the lectures. Their professor spent half the semester telling them to keep quiet, so they would continue their meaningless conversations on KakaoTalk (Minhyun insisted). Over the course of a semester Minhyun’s messages went from

_god when will this class end _

to

_ah I’m not really sure I’m doing the right thing with my life I just want to be an out-of-school youth _

to

_yoyoyoyoyoyo kang dongho are you free for lunch today? lets grab something to eat :)_

to

_the only good thing about this shitty class is that it allowed me to meet you _

Somewhere along the line, Minhyun had realized that his own apartment was on the way to school from Dongho’s dormitory. _Pick me up tomorrow pls you have a car let’s cut down on carbon emissions :)_

And to this day, Dongho doesn’t know why he agreed to that text. Minhyun was a classmate — a funny one who complained a lot about the coursework, a classmate he texted to ask for homework help, a _greasy _classmate who would thank him for his existence once in a while, an occasional lunch buddy whose leftover kimchi he takes from his plate. But he was just a classmate. What compelled him to do that first favor for a mere classmate is still a mystery. It’s not like he was particularly motivated by saving the earth or anything…

But it was those morning conversations in his car – meaningless ones, wherein Minhyun would plug in his phone to the aux cable and insist that a weepy ballad first thing in the morning was the only way to _live_; meaningful ones, wherein Minhyun would ask him about his family life, ask about how his _hyung _and his dad were doing – that caused him to make the mistake of falling in love. He couldn’t help it: Minhyun listened to all his mental breakdowns about his body image, about how he didn’t really think university education was worth it but that it’s probably one way to be safe in this world considering his dad’s health wasn’t doing well. In turn, he listened to Minhyun’s concerns, his fears of not meeting expectations, the fact he felt lonely sometimes because it’s been twenty years and he still can’t find a significant other.

Talking with Minhyun was just so comfortable, so easy. It felt natural.

Until one day the sunlight from his car window hits Minhyun’s face _just right _and suddenly it wasn’t comfortable, until one day there’d been a blooming in his chest and a lump in his throat every time Minhyun opened his mouth to speak. Kang Dongho wasn’t stupid, he knew _exactly _what that feeling is, but seven days later Minhyun started talking about that man with the pretty eyes that he had a crush on, and _Dongho-ya, do you think I should make a move_?

It’s not that the butterflies in his stomach when it came to Minhyun ever left.

_I think you should wait it out, Minhyun-ah._

He just learned to control them better starting from that day.

* * *

Minhyun slips into his car wordlessly, before reaching for Dongho’s phone in the cup holder to search for a nice playlist to listen to. Minhyun’s new phone didn’t have an audio jack, while Dongho still stubbornly insisted on owning an iPhone SE.

_It’s easier to plug into my car, Minhyun-ah, and I don’t have the money to upgrade my car to a Bluetooth rig_.

This had been their normal for the past few weeks, and honestly Dongho was just so used to Minhyun going through his phone at random times. He considers himself as an open book with no secrets to keep (except that he was really, really, really madly in love with Hwang Minhyun), so when Minhyun unlocks his phone – 950721, like he was _begging _to have his privacy invaded — he didn’t really care. This morning, Minhyun selects a Nell album; Dongho keeps his eyes on the road. Maybe Minhyun would take a random selfie. Maybe he’d Tweet random shit on his account again. He really didn’t care what Minhyun would do next, so he keeps driving.

What he was unprepared for was the ice lacing Minhyun’s next few words.

“You have a new message,” Minhyun says.

“Read it to me if it’s important?”

“—From your Tinder match.”

Dongho hits the brakes. Luckily for him they reach a stoplight just in time. Before his brain-to-mouth filter can function, he looks Minhyun in the eye and responds with, “Why do you care?”

There are ways to get around this situation: like to explain how the person who messaged him — _Kye Bumjoo, 26 —_ was offering to teach him things about music production, and was someone he swiped right for because he was well known in the university as a good mentor. He could also tell Minhyun that the message was from someone he had absolutely no interest in, and that he was just bored two nights ago and swiped right on a lot of random people. Or he could just straight up admit that he’s in love with Minhyun, has been for the better part of the last five years, and that if Minhyun actually downloaded the damn app on his damn phone then maybe he’ll get the fucking hint.

But seeing Minhyun’s uneasiness – watching Minhyun squirm, watching Minhyun not know how to make sense of a situation — this was new. Dongho finds that he quite enjoys it. The stoplight turns green. The light reflects slightly in Minhyun’s eyes.

Minhyun’s pissed for some reason, he can tell. He continues to drive.

He notices Minhyun shaking his head, as if to get rid of the frustration or anger (Jealousy? Dongho could only hope.) He looks at the mirror to see Minhyun’s smile had returned, though the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes (Or was it just wishful thinking?).

After a long stretch of silence, Minhyun speaks up. “Look, I just can’t believe you’re getting laid and I didn’t even know.”

“—I’m not using that app to get _laid_—”

“Then what are you using it for?!” Minhyun’s voice is higher, a little bit manic.

“Genuine human connection?” Dongho says defensively. Minhyun scoffs.

_It’s going to be an interesting day_.

* * *

황민현 · @optimushwang

did i fuck up? i think i fucked up. maybe I fucked up

10:05AM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone


	4. 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things finally start to settle down because one of them is brave enough to stir the pot.
> 
> "Because three years ago I swiped right for you, and honestly I never deleted the app because... I was waiting?"

_He’s dating around?!_

**황민현** · 10:11AM

_i don’t know what you’re talking about_

**렌** · 10:15AM

_Listen_

_So I was using Dongho’s phone this morning_

_And he got a message from his Tinder match_

_And I don’t know, Minki_

_I guess you can say it kind of sucked_

**황민현** · 10:20AM

_ah _

_have you tried talking to him about it?_

**렌** · 10:21AM

_I think I kind of just_

_Freaked out_

_The car ride to school was so awkward_

_I felt so pissed_

**황민현** · 10:22AM

_hwang minhyun_

_i’m just going to tell it to you straight_

_kang dongho is your best friend_

_but he isn’t your boyfriend_

_even if you act like it_

_because your coward ass hasn’t made a move for three years_

_whether or not he’s dating is none of your business_

**렌** · 10:25AM

_I know it’s just_

_I thought what we had was okay _

**황민현** · 10:30AM

_so what are you going to do about it?_

**렌** · 10:31AM

_I don’t know, download Tinder and try to move on? _

**황민현** · 10:40AM

_you’re a fucking idiot_

_im blocking you_

**렌** · 10:42AM

* * *

Dongho felt awful.

For one thing, he knew he hurt Minhyun somehow with his white lies. Though he didn’t know exactly why Minhyun reacted the way he did, it didn’t matter – Minhyun was obviously hurt, and Dongho should not have stretched out the situation just to watch Minhyun suffer for his own satisfaction. It didn’t matter if Minhyun’s jealousy (if that was even what it was) was making _him _feel good – it was making Minhyun feel like shit. Making people feel like shit is not something you do to a friend, let alone your best friend.

Minhyun had been cold to him the entire day. Maybe he deserved it.

Secondly, because Minhyun hadn’t been talking to him, he still didn’t know how to solve the whole Tinder-matching situation. He really wanted to finally finish this, because it seemed like he had a _chance_, and because he was giving himself (and Ren) so many headaches because his thoughts kept defaulting to the idea that Minhyun might like him back. But with Minhyun ignoring him, getting this mess sorted out seemed postponed for now.

Thirdly, he still had exams to study for. All this online dating nonsense was getting in the way of his academics. He actually managed to get a lot of studying done back when he was spending all his time revising with Minhyun, but ever since this whole bullshit started his focus had been all over the place.

He sighs, opens his textbooks, and tries to drown himself in calculus. He might as well try and fix the last of his worries that he had actual control over.

* * *

**황민현** · @optimushwang

… oh. oh damn

7:55PM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

_임나영_ _☆_ _, _ _렌_ _, and 3 others liked_

**백호** · @realbaekho

fuck tinder

8:17PM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**렌 **· @glorypath

@realbaekho maybe if you listened to your friends once in a while

8:31PM · Oct 31, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

It comes as a relief when he gets a message notification from Minhyun later that evening, because he really thought that his best friend was ignoring him. _Maybe his anger has blown over_, Dongho thinks while clicking the notification quickly. The message was simple, black text against a light grey speech bubble. Who turned off his dark mode?

_Test_

_???_

**Oct 31, 2019, 9:17 PM**

_Hey_

_what do you want?_

_You_

_…_

_Hahaha jk_

_I’m bored_

_What are you doing?_

_eh_

_studying for the exam on Saturday_

_Cool_

_I thought you were chatting with that Kye Bumjoo guy_

Dongho sighs. Minhyun never lives things down if it piques his curiosity enough. He was getting tired of this anyway.

_he’s a friend_

_or rather, a mentor_

_if you actually invaded my privacy like you do all the time_

_you’ll see that he was just planning a recording_

_and I was thinking of bringing you along_

_because you have a nice voice_

_Oh_

Dongho smirks. Before his brain could stop him, he types out “were you jealous” and presses send. Immediately, he’s horrified at what he’s done. _Why hasn’t the world invented an un-send button yet_? But then Minhyun is typing, typing, the most agonizing three dots in that stupid gray speech bubble and—

_were you jealous_

_I mean_

_Yes I guess_

_I don’t know_

_It just sucks cause I didn’t know you were looking for someone to date_

_Or whatever_

_It just caught me off-guard_

_minhyun_

_I thought you were keeping secrets from me_

_I thought we told each other everything?? _

_But I don’t even have the right to ask for that_

_So I don’t even know what I was expecting_

_minhyun, what are you saying_

_No let me finish_

_So I downloaded Tinder with the thought of getting even_

_Or something like that_

_I don’t know_

_Why would I even want to take revenge?_

_You didn’t even do anything wrong tbh_

_I’m just an idiot_

_So I swiped for a bunch of people and I chatted with a lot of them_

_But then I looked at my matches _

_And suddenly your name was part of the list_

_And I thought it was a glitch_

_Because three years ago I swiped right for you_

_And honestly I never deleted the app because… I was waiting?_

_And I know how big you are on honesty so you wouldn’t have swiped as a joke_

_But when I got this new phone I didn’t see the point of downloading it again_

_Wait_

_Kang Dongho_

_Has it even registered to you that we’re chatting on Tinder right now?_

_what_

_Hahaha_

_Is now the time to ask for nudes_

_That’s what this app is for right_

_…oh shit we are on tinder_

_hi…_

_Look I know you act stupid sometimes but I think I’ve said enough_

_Not stupid in a bad way you’re really!!!!!! Cute_

_Ha… I can imagine your eyes right now_

_You’ll figure it out_

_Don’t pick me up tomorrow_

_See you when I see you_

_Don’t send nudes I was kidding btw_

_But that’s the only joke! I guess_

_Haha…_

_Good night_

* * *

Dongho flings his phone onto his bed. Minhyun’s wall of messages were giving him a headache – heartache? His palms were really sweaty. What the hell was Minhyun _saying_? And fuck it, he should have known, because he never turns off dark mode and _Tinder didn’t have a dark mode_. Which meant Minhyun _knew. _Don’t pick him up? Minhyun, that lazy ass, never turns down a free ride to school –

What the fuck?

…Minhyun swiped right for him three years ago…

…And never opened the app again…

…But he kept it around to wait for… something… that never came…

He hears Minhyun’s voice and laughter in his head.

“He has nice eyes and he doesn’t like me back.”

And,

“I guess it’s a sign I should have gotten over him three years ago, huh?”

And then, realization.

The pieces fall into place, one plus one adds up to two, and everything suddenly makes sense.

_Oh._

All this time – all this fucking time he liked Minhyun, all this fucking time he was convinced Minhyun would never like him back, all this fucking time he spent trying to get over him –

…was all time Minhyun spent doing the same.

* * *

**백호** · @realbaekho

This can’t be real life lol I can’t stop smiling I can’t sleep please someone for the love of god help me

1:15AM · Nov 1, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone


	5. 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, from having just one path that would either lead to heartbreak or joy… well, now, the roads were infinite. 
> 
> All the cards were in Dongho's hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a slow writer lol I've been wrapped up in my own insecurities and real life is busy and I wanted to finish other works BUT. The update. It's here now. Enjoy.

_I_ _ finally told him_

**황민현** · 11:30PM

_HWANG MINHYUN_

_congrats on finally having balls and a boyfriend!_

_how did he react?_

_did you kiss?_

_of course he said he liked you back???_

**렌** · 11:32PM

_No I told him on Tinder hahahaha_

_??? He likes me back?_

**황민현** · 11:33PM

_FUCK_

_I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HATE THE TWO OF YOU_

**렌** · 11:34PM

* * *

Dongho remembers back when Minki was addicted to Tinder, back when his best friend was a serial online dater. He’d hooked up with men who didn’t want more than just one night, really, _what did he expect_, but Minki was adamant that he’d find true love from an app.

He did, eventually – Jonghyun was kind, handsome, and all around wonderful – but after Jonghyun, Minki’s thoughts on Tinder could be summed up in one sentence:

_Fuck Tinder._

Because Minki said that Tinder boys sucked (“In a good way?” Minhyun asked immaturely, to which Minki had given him the middle finger in response), and that the anonymity of the app gave way to so much insincerity, and that aside from Jonghyun Tinder is just this terrible place where lonely hearts pretend that having a warm body – _any _body_ – _in their bed could fulfill their need for intimacy.

Minki loved Jonghyun, but Minki ended up hating Tinder so, so, so much after falling in love.

Which was why Dongho hadn’t opened the app in three years: being in love with his other best friend was already killing him every day, he didn’t think it would do him much good if he added to it by getting into complicated one-night stands.

The thing is – and this is what he’s ashamed of the most – is that Minki was _right_.

He went on Tinder not because of some positive, optimistic feeling that would inspire him to find romance from a dating app. He didn’t go on Tinder because he genuinely wanted to meet people; he reopened his dead account because he wanted to get over Minhyun, because he wanted to make Minhyun (who wouldn’t shut up about that “cute guy he liked”) green-eyed with envy, because he wanted someone (anyone) to fill in the stupid hole in his heart that his best friend had created and was making larger and larger with every passing day.

That empty space was Minhyun’s, and it wasn’t some random online stranger’s job to fix it. It was Dongho’s job: either to tell Minhyun and get his heart broken, but this way it would finally get wounded and then _heal_, or to tell Minhyun he was in love with him, and maybe, maybe Minhyun would be willing to claim that space that’s his.

Either way: it was his job, not some stranger, not Kye Bumjoo’s, not Zhou Jieqiong’s (an extremely pretty girl who, soon after Dongho swiped right, messaged _Oops oppa I didn’t realize I set it to look for men!! I’m gay haha_). It was all on him.

Just a few hours ago, he really only had one choice: to tell Minhyun.

And then… whatever things would happen would just fall into place.

It’s just that, not even his wildest imaginations would cause him to think that things would go the way they did, with Minhyun practically confessing through the messaging feature of the app, all the hints and snippets he’s heard about Minhyun’s crush _finally _making sense (it was about you all along, Kang Dongho, you fucking dumbass, and your pretty hazel eyes and the sky is fucking _blue_). Now, from having just one path that would either lead to heartbreak or joy… well, now, the roads were infinite.

All the cards were in his hands.

But what sort of play were you supposed to make after your best friend bares his heart and soul to you on Tinder, tells you he’s been in love with you for three years, and then makes it clear that he doesn’t want to follow your well-established routines the next day?

Minki was right, really.

Fuck Tinder.

* * *

**황민현** · @optimushwang

…I had no idea lines at Starbucks get this long this early in the morning

6:55AM · Nov 1, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

It comes almost as a shock to him when, as he steps out of his front door and begins to make his way towards his car, he sees Minhyun’s sedan parked in front of his driveway. His window was down, so Dongho could clearly see Minhyun’s side profile, his perfect jaw and his fingers tapping against the steering wheel. The sight takes him aback, not because he didn’t know Minhyun could drive (because for fuck’s sake, _he _was the one who taught Minhyun, of course he could drive well), but because Minhyun in the driver’s seat looks really, really fucking good and Minhyun likes him back, yes, _maybe_?

He tries his best to ignore his heartbeat as he walks up to Minhyun, who finally looks up and notices him.

Dongho does his best to hold Minhyun’s gaze. “Why are you here?”

Minhyun doesn’t look away. “Good morning.”

“You told me not to pick you up that’s why I got out of the house a little late,” Dongho says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck to alleviate some of the awkwardness he’s feeling.

“Yes, but I didn’t say anything about us not meeting up this morning,” Minhyun says, flashing him a grin. “Get in, I’ll drive us today.”

* * *

Being in the passenger’s seat of Minhyun’s car just under twelve hours after his surprise confession was awkward for a multitude of reasons. For one thing, Dongho had no idea what the hell to do with his _hands_. He wanted the comfort of the steering wheel under his palms, anything to help him relax and alleviate the minor headache he was experiencing because _Minhyun is right there beside him _and _What the hell does Minhyun want?_

Dongho realizes he said his question out loud.

“Well, did you figure it out?”

Dongho nods, unsure of what else to say. Maybe, “Hwang Minhyun, I’ve been in love with you for three years and you look really, really good in the driver’s seat and I think you like me back and I really want to kiss you”?

Were those appropriate thoughts at 8:30 AM?

His inner monologue is interrupted by Minhyun.

“I’m—Well, I don’t know how to say this, but—” Minhyun starts. He takes this chance to awkwardly look at the side mirror before glancing back at the road ahead. “—courting you, I guess?”

There’s a bright pink blooming on Minhyun’s cheeks, Dongho’s jaw drops, and it seems like all the foundations of his world fall apart.

* * *

When he reopened his Tinder account, his goal was to get over Minhyun, but less than 72 hours after swiping right for the same man he wanted to get over (he’s an idiot, a big, fucking, bumbling idiot, and there wouldn’t be any _getting over_ happening from now on—)

“Look, if you’ve figured it out then you’d know I’ve been in love with you for three years—” Was Dongho really hearing this? “—And that I’ve been trying to figure out if I should act on it or not, but last night I think I just _stopped thinking_ so I said what I said and, well—”

Minhyun talks too much too early in the morning.

“—Look, I don’t know if you _really _like me back in the way that I like you, or if I’m just one of a bunch of people you think are attractive, but that doesn’t matter.” Minhyun breathes deeply, before continuing. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I _want_ you to like me back.”

Dongho takes this opportunity to respond. “Minhyun-ah, I do, I mean, I like—”

“—Not as a friend, or whatever, I want you to like me more than you like your Tinder matches because I really got stupidly jealous when I found out you were trying to date around—”

“Minhyun.”

“But why would you even think of falling in love with me when I don’t do nice things for you or anything? I always just take advantage of your car and I drag you to places that I’m not even sure you’d like, so I thought I’d drive you to school for once and I even bought you_ breakfast_—” he points to a paper bag sitting in the backseat. “—I was gonna give it to you later once we get down from this stupid car as a surprise but now I’m telling you about it so it’s not a surprise anymore and—”

Minhyun takes a sharp inhale, parks the car, and then looks at Dongho. “I like you so much, and I really don’t know what I’m doing, and shit, has anyone ever told you your eyes really sparkle when they catch sunlight?”

Dongho thinks that he’s so, so, so close to spontaneous combustion.

Minhyun hands him his breakfast paper bag once they’re both out of the car, and then awkwardly waves goodbye. “I’ll. See you later.”

They walk towards their separate buildings. Breakfast is a chicken sandwich and an iced americano. Dongho takes a sip.

The coffee is way too watery since the ice had already melted down.

Minhyun must have waited for him for a long time.

* * *

There are way too many things to get through in a school day: classes, and then lunch with Bumjoo-hyung, and then meetings for extracurriculars, and in the idle moments in between, he’d been wracking his head, trying to figure out the words to properly say,

“Yah, I didn’t get Tinder to sleep around, I got it because I wanted to get over you because I thought you would never like me back.”

And,

“Hwang Minhyun, you really don’t need to court me or anything because I’ve liked you for so long that I don’t remember what it’s like to like anyone else, and I like you not because you’re the perfect boyfriend material but because you’re my best friend in the entire world, but feel free to be extra nice to me on regular days because I think I can get used to it.”

And,

“Minhyun-ah, when will you stop talking so that I can tell you that I like you too so that we can get to the part where we can make out until the sun rises and after ten years we can buy a house and raise 2.5 cats?”

And,

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you in the first place and I accidentally made things so complicated by being a dense idiot, but I was scared that we’d lose our friendship if I tried anything weird, but I guess I was scared for nothing and I’m really relieved.”

And,

“Minhyun-ah. I’m in love with you, too.”

* * *

It’s a Tinder notification from his phone that wakes him up from his nap. He’s studying at one of the big tables in the library, one he usually shares with Minhyun, and he’d fallen asleep while reviewing for his damn exam on Saturday (honestly, he was supposed to be done studying by last night, but Minhyun, damn that stupid Minhyun).

_Wake up sleepyhead_

_I’ll take you home_

He rubs his eyes and looks up. Behind the stack of books was Minhyun’s face looking at him fondly. Had Minhyun always looked at him like that? He’d never noticed.

“Mmh—” Dongho buries his head back in his arms: dual-purpose, to try to hide the blush blossoming on his cheeks, and well, to try and get five more minutes of sleep.

“If you wake up now I’ll buy you dinner and then I’ll drive you home.”

Dongho swears his heart doesn’t skip a beat.

“You don’t have to, you know,” Dongho mumbles against the sleeves of his sweater, trying to fight the sleep clouding his brain but failing. It’s muffled to the point that he’s not even sure if Minhyun can even make out the words he’s saying. “I like you no matter what. I’ve always liked you, and I always will…”

Dongho drifts back to sleep.

Minhyun tilts his head, confused.

* * *

He finds himself again in Minhyun’s car later that night, after Minhyun finally flat-out rejected one of his requests for ‘_five more minutes, please_.’ He could really get used to Minhyun driving, and if it weren’t for the butterflies in his stomach (he’d rehearsed! He’d practiced so much for what he’d say for this moment!), he would have taken the opportunity to sleep soundly.

After all, he hadn’t gotten that much sleep since several nights ago.

He musters whatever courage he has – heck, he doesn’t even know why he needs _courage_, it’s not like it isn’t mutual – and says, “Minhyun-ah, can you pull over for a bit?”

Minhyun shoots him a concerned glance. Dongho tries hard not to melt. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m more than okay, don’t worry. I just—we need to talk.”

Minhyun pulls over at a space in front of a nearby park. “What’s up?”

Dongho gets his phone, and beckons Minhyun to move closer. He presses the icon for the Tinder app, the stupid app that got him into this mess, and the stupid app that he now has to _thank_, long enough until the little X button was visible in the corner. He makes a show of clicking it, gets to the confirmation screen – is he sure he wants to delete – and –

“Look, I don’t think I need this anymore.” Dongho presses the remove button.

The Tinder icon is gone.

“Why did you do that?” Minhyun asks, raising his eyebrows. “Aren’t you trying to date around or something? Just because I’m courting you doesn’t mean you have to—”

“Would you please _listen _for five seconds?” Dongho says exasperatedly.

Minhyun nods, chewing lightly on his bottom lip.

“I deleted it because I don’t want to date around, Minhyun-ah,” Dongho says solemnly, throwing all his rehearsed scripts out the window. For this one, he’d have to go with his gut. “I never really wanted to date around, I guess.”

A long pause. Minhyun takes the opportunity to respond.

“I don’t understand? Then you would never have reactivated, you’re too stingy with your time to play around on stupid apps that aren’t _Candy Crush_—”

Dongho holds up his hand, a sign to let him speak, and looks at Minhyun straight in the eye.

To his credit, Minhyun keeps quiet.

“I wanted to get over you. I wanted to make you jealous. But I think, at the end of it all, I just—I wanted to date _you_.”

A beat, two beats. The sound of Minhyun swallowing; his own heart thundering in his ears. There’s a surge of courage that bolts through him, so he takes Minhyun’s hand, which was resting on the gear shift, and holds it lightly.

Minhyun’s hand is cold. He hopes his hand could help warm it up.

“Oh.”

Minhyun intertwines their fingers.

“Yeah.” Dongho tightens his grip. There were still so many words unspoken in the air, but he thinks Minhyun finally understands. “I—Yeah.”

* * *

They arrive in front of Dongho’s house. It’s all a little too fast, Minhyun valued efficiency and was never one for taking the longer routes home. It’s always been this way even before their stupid dating app confession fiascos: time with Minhyun always felt so short, he’d do anything to be with him a little bit longer.

“Do you wanna come in? I can make us dinner, if you want food—”

Minhyun shakes his head, smiling wide. “Maybe next time. I’m—a bit overwhelmed, honestly.” He laughs. “And to think I started this.”

“You did,” Dongho answers. He starts collecting his things from underneath him, there’s really nothing more to say—

“How long?” Minhyun asks, words cutting through the comfortable silence.

“What?”

“How long have you—” Was it Dongho’s imagination, or was Minhyun’s face getting closer? “—you know.”

Dongho’s heart doesn’t beat faster, not at all. “Three… four years?”

“I—same.”

Definitely not his imagination. Minhyun’s ears are red and are way too near his face. _Shit_.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for just as long,” Minhyun finishes.

Dongho thinks that now is a very, very convenient time to forget how to speak. “Yeah?”

And then the next thing he knows: Minhyun’s lips against his own, the briefest, the most chaste of kisses. And then they were gone.

Minhyun nods at him, and the smile on his face is so wide he looks like he’s fucking beaming. Dongho wants to move in to kiss him again, but thinks that both of them might explode if they do anything more tonight.

“Yeah. I can’t believe we wasted so much time but… I’ll see you tomorrow, Dongho-ya.”

* * *

**백호** · @realbaekho

asdsfajasdfjaskhfsakfhaksfjaslf

10:55PM · Nov 1, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue? Epilogue!


	6. 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if anyone asked Minhyun why he never made a move, he'd probably come up with 500 bullshit excuses before he'd tell the truth: that he was an egotistic coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait and for who i am as a person

_ok what did you do_

_why is dongo keyboard smashing in the middle of the night_

**렌** · 11:03PM

_That’s a secret :)_

**황민현** · 11:05PM

_well fuck you he just replied to me_

_you fucking made out!?_

**렌** · 11:07PM

_???_

**황민현** · 11:07PM

_oh wait dongho said it was just a peck_

_HWANG MINHYUN!_

**렌** · 11:09PM

_:)_

**황민현** · 11:09PM

_i can’t believe you didn’t make out with your boyfriend the first chance you got_

_considering you’ve been pining for 79 years_

_wait so is he your boyfriend now_

**렌** · 11:11PM

_We didn’t really talk about it?_

_Come to think of it we barely talked._

_I was just having a meltdown and he sort of interrupted me_

_And then he made a show of deleting his Tinder account _

_And then he said he wanted to date me._

**황민현** · 11:15PM

_slr im chatting with dongho _

_you have got to be kidding me _

_at the rate you’re going you’re going to die a virgin_

_even if someone is obviously ready to suck you off_

**렌** · 11:33PM

_Hey!_

_Our relationship isn’t like that!_

**황민현** · 11:34PM

_sure whatever_

_I Believe You_

_but like be honest_

_do you guys ever just like_

_talk?_

**렌** · 11:35PM

* * *

If anyone asked Minhyun why he never made a move, he'd probably come up with 500 bullshit excuses before he'd tell the truth: that he was an egotistic coward.

Because four years as Dongho's best friend meant he had everything he could've wanted from a relationship: comfortable companionship, skinship to an extent, late night heart-to-heart talks, rides to and from school—

Or at least that's what he thought for four years, because after his first kiss with Dongho last night, no matter how _wholesome _he insists this relationship or _whatever _is, all he could think about is kissing him some more.

He wants to bash his head against the nearest wall. Why did he have to give in to his cowardice and pride for an entire four years, dangling the fact that he liked Dongho right in front of his best friend's face, enjoying the fact Dongho was wrapped around his pinky finger even when they weren't exactly together?

It wasn't that he didn't want anything more, but relationships are risky, and Minhyun is a calculating man.

And while the pining almost killed him—Dongho's face and Dongho's eyes and Dongho's heart were all so pretty but he couldn't act on that while he was just his best friend. So he chose to stay still. For three years, he didn't move.

Dongho had always been the more impulsive one out of the two.

So Minhyun waited, and Minhyun played coy, and Minhyun hoped with all his heart that Dongho would finally make his move toward him. And Minhyun was ready and willing to reciprocate whatever Dongho offered, because by then Dongho would've established that it was mutual, and by then the risks of losing his best friend would have been little-to-none.

But what Minhyun could've never calculated in his head was that Dongho's first move in this little game he created would've been a move to try and get away from him.

For someone who was so afraid of the consequences of losing Dongho by confessing, he really was so optimistic that Dongho would never try to find someone else.

And so the past few days were just critical hits to his ego, one loss after another in this silly game: Dongho had a Tinder account. Dongho chats with people on Tinder. Dongho is trying to find someone else. Minhyun makes the mistake of spilling his heart out on Tinder to Dongho. Minhyun doesn't get his eight hours of sleep. Minhyun tries and fails at courting Dongho.

Dongho likes him back.

Minhyun kisses Dongho for the first time. Dongho's lips are very soft.

Minhyun thinks about how much time he'd wasted. Minhyun thinks about how he could've been spending the past three years kissing Dongho, making out with Dongho, _fucking _Dongho—

Minhyun realizes that he's a fucking idiot for turning this into a game at all.

* * *

Minhyun stands right outside the classroom door when Dongho comes out from his exam room looking haggard and stressed and handsome-as-ever, and Minhyun wishes he can bottle the pleasant surprise that crosses Dongho's eyes when he sees him.

"What are you doing here?" Dongho asks. "You don't have class on Saturdays."

Minhyun makes the move to grab Dongho's hand, and the other boy moves to intertwine their fingers. The tips of Dongho's ears turn red. "I wanted to take you out on a date," Minhyun mumbles, suddenly feeling shy. Taking Dongho out on a date as a reward for getting through exams seemed like an intelligent idea just minutes ago, now it just seemed weird.

And then Dongho beams up at him, the tension melts from his shoulders, and Minhyun thinks that maybe he's finally doing something right.

"Sure, I'll go out with you, but what for?"

"You're finally done with exams," Minhyun answers. "I wanted to reward you."

* * *

What's strange about knowing Dongho likes him back is that on the surface, nothing seems to change at all.

Minhyun drives them to their favorite cafe away from the campus, the one they go to whenever they have exams to revise for and papers to write. It goes as it always does: Dongho orders two croissants and an iced americano, and Minhyun gets a grapefruit smoothie and a slice of chocolate cake. They pay for their own orders. They sit in front of each other at their usual booth by a large window, where sunlight filters through the window to hit Dongho just right.

Dongho brings the iced americano to his mouth, raising an eyebrow at Minhyun (which makes Minhyun realize that he is staring, but whatever), his lips parting around the straw, and Minhyun is struck for what is probably the thousandth time in his life by how much he wants to kiss the other man.

"So," Dongho starts. "Is this what dating is supposed to feel like?"

The back of Minhyun's neck burns. Dating. Dongho never was one to beat around the bush.

"I don't know. What do you think?" Minhyun forks at his cake nervously, but his eyes hold Dongho's gaze.

Dongho chews his bread slowly while considering Minhyun's question. He swallows before answering, "This feels the same as before, though? Does that mean we've been dating for a long time, Minhyun-ah?"

The way Dongho tilts his head as he asks the last question almost makes Minhyun combust, and Minhyun is once again startled by how much he wants to kiss—

And then, struck by the fact that this time, he _can_.

So Minhyun pushes his plate and then his grapefruit drink forward so that they are perfectly in line with Dongho's coffee. Minhyun rises from his seat, walks up to the side of the booth where Dongho was sitting, and sidles up to sit next to the other man.

South Korean cafe booths weren't designed to hold two fully-grown men side-by-side.

It's a tight fit, and they never sit beside each other whenever they eat, but Minhyun can feel Dongho's warmth radiating from right beside him and thinks he could get used to this. "Does this feel the same as before?"

Dongho shakes his head. "No, it's—different, and warmer, I guess. You're so warm, Minhyun-ah."

One step forward. A good move. A win.

Minhyun decides to take it one step further by wrapping an arm around Dongho's shoulders. He's only slightly taller, but he could see the faint beginnings of a blush on Dongho's cheeks. Minhyun tries to suppress a smirk. Another win.

"How about this—does this still feel the same as before?"

Dongho is flustered, Minhyun can tell. "Minhyun-ah, what are you—"

Minhyun feigns innocence. "Hm? I'm just asking you a question." He takes the opportunity to use his fingers to card through Dongho's hair, and Minhyun almost giggles when he feels Dongho lean into his touch. It's a cafe booth secluded enough so the rest of the patrons can't see unless they look, and Minhyun is thankful.

Except he doesn't expect it when Dongho pulls away. Two steps back.

And then—Dongho, that little shit, retaliates by moving away from Minhyun's hand on his hair to nuzzle his face against the crook between his best friend's neck and shoulder.

"You're playing with me," Dongho says softly, so close to Minhyun's neck, his breath making the hairs on Minhyun's nape stand. Too many steps forward, not that he minds. "Does this feel the same as before, Hwang Minhyun?"

Minhyun shakes his head, and Dongho's low chuckle reverberates against his skin. Dongho pulls away from Minhyun's neck to look at Minhyun straight in the eye, while his palm searches for Minhyun's hand to hold it firmly in his grasp.

"How about this?"

"I—no," Minhyun admits, even if he's all-too-familiar with the roughness of Dongho's palm from all the friendly handholds they've shared in the past few years, it's still one of the first few times that Minhyun's doing something so romantic with the idea that Dongho likes him back. "My heart is beating really quickly right now."

"Same here," Dongho mumbles, staring down at their intertwined hands, the bravado he'd been maintaining disappearing due to Minhyun's admission. "I mean, you're still my best friend and we've done skinship for years and being with you is still so comfortable and that hasn't changed but..."

Dongho trails off, before continuing. "I've gotten so used to feeling—sad? Lonely? Around you. Like I never had a chance to be with you even if I liked you so much."

There's a fluttering in Minhyun's chest because it's the first time Dongho verbalized his feelings instead of relying on implications and actions, except there's a bitter taste of disappointment that still lingers in his mouth and he's sure it's not the grapefruit smoothie he just downed.

"That's... it?"

"What do you mean, Minhyun-ah?"

There are things in life such as small victories, but with this one—

The odds are in his favor.

"I don't just _like_ you—I'm in love with you, Kang Dongho," he says, going all in, and Minhyun drowns in the pleasure of watching Dongho's expression turn from solemn to shocked, almost laughing at how his cheeks stain pink and how his eyes become wide as saucers.

"I—that's what I meant—I thought that was implied—" Dongho stutters, obviously taken aback by Minhyun's abrupt confession.

The taller man shrugs. "We've been spending the past few years implying things—"

"No, you spent the past few years pretending you were in love with someone else," Dongho answers back, with no bite to his tone.

"And you spent them acting like I was just your best friend, and then trying to get over me, and then failing," Minhyun says, squeezing Dongho's hand briefly before relaxing his grip. "So—we're even. Anyway. I'm in love with you."

Dongho looks at him, stunned.

"Are you just going to stare at me every time I say it? I love you," Minhyun continues, gazing at Dongho's hazel eyes unblinkingly. "I—"

"—'ve been in love with you for _years_, Hwang Minhyun," Dongho interrupts, and Minhyun thought he was ready for it because he practically forced the sentence out of Dongho but...

He's not okay. He's really not okay.

So he buries his pink cheeks against Dongho's shoulder, deep into the fabric of his knit sweater and it smells like aftershave and laundry detergent mixed together and why did he think that this would save him from embarrassment when he'd always been mildly obsessed with the way Dongho smells—

"So are we dating now, Minhyun-ah?" Dongho murmurs softly, his thumb caressing the back of Minhyun's hand.

"I guess so," he answers, lifting up his head and moving to sit up straight. The blush on his cheeks had dissipated, but the tips of his ears are still flaming red, he can tell.

"So does that make you my boyfriend?" Dongho asks. His ears perk up at the word—boyfriend.

He will be Kang Dongho's boyfriend.

And Kang Dongho will be Hwang Minhyun's boyfriend.

And it shouldn't mean the world to him but it _does_ because this is what he's wanted since that day many years ago in their statistics class when Dongho laughed too loudly at their professor's joke and Minhyun found himself staring while feeling the beginnings of butterflies in his stomach mixed with the realization that he didn't just want to be Dongho's friend.

"Dongho-ya, I'd... I'd like that."

And because he's always so unwilling to not get the last move in, Minhyun plants a soft kiss on Dongho's forehead.

Things aren't exactly the same as before.

They're so much better.

* * *

**백호** · @realbaekho

I love you @optimushwang

4:01PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho ??? phone hacked?

4:02PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**백호** · @realbaekho

@optimushwang No? I really love you.

4:02PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@realbaekho wait shit you’re making me blush please finish your croissant so we can leave the cafe

4:03PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**kjh **· @pockyjr

@realbaekho @optimushwang look im happy for you guys but if you’re actually beside each other right now please try to keep the flirting away from tl some people are just looking on tl for their ragnarok guildmates yeah?

4:03PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**황민현** · @optimushwang

@pockyjr literally who hurt you

4:06PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

* * *

They walk out of the cafe hand-in-hand, and while Seoul is currently going through the beginnings of winter, Minhyun thinks his palms have never felt warmer before. Dongho's hand in his is warmer than having a pocket handwarmer, warmer than when he wears his thickest pair of wool gloves, and when his best friend—his boyfriend—unlinks their fingers to walk to the passenger's seat, Minhyun's hands feel so bereft and empty that he has to scold himself because he knows his current train of thought is that of a fool's.

He wants to know if the rest of Dongho is just as warm.

His self-control almost snaps in half the moment they're both in his car, while watching Dongho buckle his seatbelt. He realizes that they're in an enclosed space _together_ and _alone_ and it would be so easy to just swing his legs across the cup compartment to seat himself on Dongho's lap so that they can have their second kiss (and their third, and their fourth, and _Dongho loves him back_—)

But he's too prim and proper and way too broke to get his car windows tinted, and while he's proud of his new relationship status, and while he really, really just wants to pin Dongho against the backrest of his passenger’s seat, he doesn't think he's ready to broadcast a kiss for the entire world to see.

And then Dongho tells him he just wants to go back home to his dorm room because he spent the entire night revising and he’s _tired_.

Minhyun tries not to get excited by this idea, he’s not excited, not at all—

* * *

He must be dreaming.

Or if he’s not dreaming, he’s probably in some alternate universe right now where only good things can happen because as soon as he removed his coat after stepping into Dongho’s dorm room—the shorter man invited him upstairs—Dongho pinned him against his door and immediately went in for a kiss.

_No_.

A kiss would be the word to describe what happened yesterday in his car, the light touching of lips and small fireworks bursting in the back of his eyelids. The word _kiss _can’t describe this, Dongho having his tongue in his mouth and the flames licking at Minhyun’s belly. It would be insufficient to describe the way Minhyun angles his head to the left to be able to pull Dongho much closer; not enough to sum up how Dongho moving to latch his lips on the bare skin of Minhyun’s neck instead makes him feel—

This isn’t a _kiss_.

They are making out.

They are making out in Dongho’s dorm room.

Because his newly-declared boyfriend said that he was tired and that he wanted to go to _bed_. Minhyun realizes, when Dongho pulls him even closer to the point that their hips are connected, that he’s been so naïve to not even realize he was being lured into giving in to his best friend’s—his _boyfriend_’s sexual urges so soon and so quickly—

Minhyun tugs at Dongho’s hair lightly so that he would pull away. He looks at him in the eyes and almost shocks himself with how much need and lust he sees. “Dongho-ya—”

Dongho groans because he got stopped from his ministrations but doesn’t move his face closer. “You have got to be kidding me…” he mutters, before catching himself. An apologetic look crosses his features and Minhyun’s sorry for even putting it there. “Was I moving too fast, Minhyun-ah, I’m sorry—”

The taller man moves to plant a chaste peck on Dongho’s lips. “No, it’s okay,” Minhyun whispers against his lips, feeling Dongho’s smile against his own. “But this, all of a sudden, I thought you were _tired_—”

Dongho doesn’t let him finish, instead taking the opportunity to close the gap between their lips again, licking at the seam of Minhyun’s mouth to allow him entrance, and he’s only so happy to oblige. It’s honestly slightly awkward, the brief clashing of tongues and teeth, noses bumping against each other; though they’ve known each other for years this is probably one of the things that they still have not achieved complete synchronicity in, but this wasn't a territory they’d ever crossed. They have time to figure it out.

His knees almost buckle from the aggressive way Dongho is kissing him mixed with the flip-flopping _holy shit is this really happening _disbelief in his stomach, so he lets his arms snake around the back of Dongho’s neck to find purchase and to pull him impossibly closer, while his boyfriend’s fingers instead elect to dance at the exposed skin around the hem of Minhyun’s shirt. When his fingers dip down, slightly underneath the fabric of his briefs, Minhyun fails to bite back a moan.

It’s the slight tinge of pain from when Dongho bites at his lower lip that causes Minhyun to realize that this isn’t a dream. And when Dongho finally pulls away, panting slightly, he realizes that he, too, needs air—_definitely _not a dream.

He just knows that his own eyes are dazed when he teases, “I didn’t expect you to be so horny, Kang Dongho.”

Because he didn’t.

He really, really, didn’t. He’d been looking forward to the wholesome parts of being in a relationship with Dongho like the _I love you_s and the handholds and movie dates and just generally feeling _loved_; and while his best friend is undoubtedly sexy and Minhyun is undeniably horny himself, Dongho usually came off as someone more… soft. More tender. In his mind and in his most secret fantasies he always thought he’d have to take the lead when it comes to more risqué things. Really, he’s never been gladder that he was wrong.

Dongho taking charge and pinning him against a door feels so fucking _amazing._

But then Dongho looks back at him with a wicked glint in his eyes, and really, that shouldn’t turn Minhyun on so much—

“You really think I’m _wholesome _when I fucking downloaded _Tinder _to try and get over you?”

This makes Minhyun almost double over in laughter.

He loves the kisses, and for sure he’ll be in love with whatever else this relationship brings—but he fell in love with Kang Dongho’s personality first and foremost.

That’s something that would never, ever change.

* * *

**렌** · @glorypath

tfw you visit your friend’s dorm room to try and drag him out for dinner but all you can hear when you’re about to knock is loud moaning. yea

7:18PM · Nov 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--And that's that!
> 
> Thank you for staying with me throughout this AU. It was an interesting ride to say the least, going out of my comfort zone and writing something that's so not my style or scope or genre, and writing the last chapter was a motherfucking /journey/ but here it is, it's done, I am free, goodbye. 
> 
> No really, thank you so much. 
> 
> I'll see you in my next universe :)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos keep me motivated. (Please motivate me.) If you want to reach me, find me on twitter (@akanemnida).


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